婚姻幽默

一位遠在台灣求學的老朋友送給我的。

讀了覺得有點意思，當然我希望你注意到以下的每一則笑話都是在貶女人的。這讓我有一種這些笑話是不是女人自己發明的感想。這是因為身邊的朋友，尤其是女性，老是以為一直是我在欺負老白頭。

就連昨天阿思請吃茶（哎啊我是回到家才發覺忘了跟那頓茶拍照留念！！）也給那個歐老菩薩有意無意的酸xiao我。更不要說那個台灣的死人頭阿布阿魯還有米卡他們了。真是雞蛋糕。

昨天老白頭去接我時，當作笑話講給他聽。他幾乎要握著拳頭仰天悲嘆~~蓋麻當我的男子氣概沒有到！！哇哈哈哈哈~~~~

放上來讓有緣人自己參透婚姻的意義。


Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?' 妻：你在作什麼啊？ Husband : Nothing. 夫：沒作什麼。 Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' 妻：沒作什麼？你看著我們的結婚證書，足足有一小時了。 Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.' 夫：我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。 xxxxxx Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' 妻： 要吃晚餐嗎？ Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?' 夫： 當然！我可以選擇嗎？ Wife : 'Yes or no.' 妻：要或不要。 xxxxxxx Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' 妻：為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡？ Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' 夫：當問題發生時，不管有多困難，我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。 Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!' 妻：你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊！ Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' 夫：是啊！望著妳的照片我問自己，還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢？ xxxxxxxx Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' 女孩：婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾，以減輕你的負擔。 Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' 男孩：親愛的，妳真體貼，但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。 Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' 女孩：哦？那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。 xxxxxxx Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' 子：今早我和爹地一起搭車，他要我讓座給一位女士。 Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' 母：嗯，你這麼做是對的。 Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 子：但是，媽，我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。 xxxxxxxxx A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' 一位新婚的先生問他太太：如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我，你會嫁給我嗎？ 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 女人溫柔的答道：親愛的，不管是誰留下財產給你，我都會嫁給你的。 xxxxxxx Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever . 女孩對著男友說：吻我一下，我就永遠屬於你了。 The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' 男孩回道：謝謝您提早警告我。 xxxxxxx A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' 妻問夫：你最喜歡我哪一點？我美麗的臉龐，還是我性感的軀體？ He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.' 他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍，回道：我喜歡你的幽默感。